Short Tight Black Skirt: A Story

Teeny tiny little black stretchy skirts adorn the bottoms - just about – of the man-conscious young woman in Sydney. Style? Non. Fashion? Iffy… but perhaps it has been a brief member of the fashion club. But in my opinion, a person dressing fashionably is doing so with art in mind, as well as a desire to impress/stun their peers for their innovation and daring, and not as a way to promote drooling or possible wolf whistles.

These skirts are worn day and night. They don’t just seem to be the nightclub or bar uniform. During the day, a loose top and/or jacket is mock-casually thrown with it, with suitably tousled hair or an ever complimentary top-knot. At night? Anything goes really, as long is it is a relatively small anything.

At night it is particularly comical to see, as a throng of young women will walk three or four abreast with their very similar attire. You will see this a number of times in one evening. There may be a slight difference with the texture of the fabric – perhaps one is wearing a ‘body-con’ style dress/skirt, with thick synthetic fabric that squashes the contents in a little. Perhaps someone else is wearing stretchy jersey fabric that rides up much more easily. Perhaps another has gone crazy and chosen mauve.

It is the norm to not be wearing tights with them. Unfortunately, a high percentage of women suffer from water retention, and the evidence is clear. It just baffles me that they would choose to display the water retention evidence so visibly.

There must be an equation that identifies this look:

Short (usually) black skirt + boy/men = flirtation + boost in confidence + sexting (and beyond)

I’ll admit that I’m not certain of how to balance this equation. But there it is.

And there is nothing wrong with the equation except for its obviousness and the baseness. There’s always a place for baseness. I eat pork scratchings after all.