Comply or Die

Last year, D--- from the office organised the sweepstake for the Grand National. Horses were picked blindly for those who wished to participate. I landed Comply or Die, which felt apt to me at the time. He didn't win, but he was one of the few who made it to the finish line.

This year, horses were again drawn randomly for those wishing to participate. For the 40 plus people taking part, the name draw was almost as exciting as watching the horses speed round the track. Well, more so for me as I didn't actually watch the race, being tied up elsewhere. Anticipating the draw, the name matched to my own was Comply or Die. What are the odds of that happening!

I now feel like he's my horse.

I have learned that  he has now retired, which is good news for a healthy 12 years old race horse, particularly in light of those two tragic deaths that were unsympathetically - and I think irresponsibly - denied a mention during the race.

As a former National winner, it is encouraging to hear that his groom is keen to see him live the rest of his life without sustaining injury, and after earning more than three quarters of a million pounds in his racing life, I think he is deserving of the rest.

My horse confirmation slips from 2010 & 2011

Extra Virgin Olive Oil

I bloody love the smell of hot extra virgin olive oil! It's just so delicious! Think of it on the base of a frying pan, ever so slightly more runny than when it oozed out of the tipped bottle, with that golden shade, ready to welcome the bacon.

And then there's that delightful sound that follows! It's more of a crackle than a sizzle. Tiny little crackling sounds that become more fierce every time a fresh piece of chopped bacon hits the base.

It makes everything taste more delicious and can only do good things for you. Fatty? Non. Not in my books.

Can you judge a person by their friends?

Not so long ago, I would have said that judging a person by their friends was narrow minded, and that to put the same blanket over a group of people would stifle the individual personalities. But now I'm far less certain.

It could be fair to say that we choose our friends based on a model of ourselves - the values that we consider to be important in ourselves should be seen in the person that we wish to befriend, but perhaps more importantly, they embody traits and personalities that we wish to see more of in ourselves, characteristics that we aspire to have or improve upon. It is often the dream and the desire that helps make us who we are, helps make us more interesting, and helps us to try harder.

I am very much an all-or-nothing person, so in the spirit of relationships, a person is either a friend or they're not. The middling sorts remain to be sort of acquaintances, possibly I might text once or twice, share a giggle over some common ground - of which there is little - and leave it at that. If I click with somebody, (I mean honestly click, not earnestly try and get along with because they seem fun) and this is also rare, then I will want to pursue the clickiness with a view to turning it into something more substantial.

But there has to be some indication that this is a person that I can trust. Could I count on them to be honest? Can I count on them to keep a secret about a dramatic life change? Can I trust that they will support me in times of happiness and success as well as the times that I tread in shit? Will that smile be genuine if I go on a date with a dream boat (this is a hypothetical extreme), or will they be grinding their teeth in jealousy, and then bitch about it to someone else? Do they trust me?

I expect people to expect a lot from me, so in return I expect a lot from them. This is true of both men and women. As I write this, I'm aware that I've been somewhat self-obsessed of late and have let a few people down but, you know, that moon out there is bright tonight so the tide is changing...

But as for judging a person by their friends, I would say that it is a reasonably safe parameter in which to set your expectations. It's easy to be blinded by different temperaments, perhaps also by slightly different IQ levels, but for a group of people to gel together, they generally have to share the same values and be of a similar opinion about what is important in life. So the group of people that you see boozing together every week will all believe that this lifestyle is ideal, and that's why they fit together and have a great time.

The man that you see across the room boasting about that crazy time in that crazy city with those crazy people is probably going to be quite similar to his friend, the guy you're talking with, who on first, second and third inspection seems much more considerate and thought-provoking. He's actually just a slightly more elegant person with a milder manner, but with the same shallow ideals. Shame.

We all have our quirks and personal habits, certain little hobbies and different job/careers, and these are what set us apart as unique individuals. But a person's friends, for better or worse, will give you a strong indication of what to expect of them. This must mean that I'm awesome.

I Wish to Look Like a Picnic

I'm saving for a trip elsewhere, so there are a few addictions that I can't afford to feed. The main addiction that (sadly) makes me craziest if I can't indulge it is buying clothing for myself.

I don't enjoy the act of shopping, but I do like having beautiful things, and when I go full throttle with a savings scheme I usually buckle big time about three months into it and splurge. I think that comparatively I'm not a consumer fiend. I never have the latest Mulberry bag (though somehow every other woman I see on the street seems to have one), I abhor the below-average quality of the on-trend goods in Topshop, so usually go without the offerings from the high street leader, but I always find a way quench my thirst.

However, this is important. So: no more smoking; more packed lunches; no more buying of frivolities. But I can't just turn a blind eye to spring/summer 2011 trends!

And this is what I came up with: I have done little sewing in the past 6 - 8 years, but figure this is a great time to jump back into the creative world. If I can teach myself to knit again (and I did in November last year, though just the basics) then I can learn how to sew again. And what better way than to channel a bit of, say, Dolce and Gabbana into my life? I say D&G simply because I saw an advertisement with 5 beauties walking happily from a picnic scene towards the camera, each wearing a piece of gingham and a smile. And who doesn't love gingham in the summer?!

If you know the right places to go, you can get bargains. I found a metre of red gingham fabric for £1.50, 10 metres of elastic for £1.00 and a reel of white thread for 40 pence. Is my confession to elastic screaming at you as it is me? I thought I would begin gently with an elasticated waist band rather than darts and a zip, so the nod to D&G is really only with the fabric choice and not to the craftmanship.

I set aside my Saturday to dust off the sewing machine, courtesy of a 16th birthday present, and make a skirt. Here are the results!

The tools:

After whipping out the iron to flatten the seams:

Some hand stitching to secure the elastic and to neaten the fabric ends:

The final product:

Hoorah! A new item to add to my wardrobe. I still have half of the fabric left, most of the thread left, and about 9 and 3/4 metres of elastic left, so really the skirt can't have cost more than 85 pence to make. Clearly it's nothing fancy but hopefully, when I don a white t-shirt or blouse with this simple and very feminine skirt, I will look like a picnic.

Weakness

Do you know your weakness?

Not your vices and what you feel that you can't live without, but the character flaw that helps make you who you are, for better or worse.

My biggest weakness is thinking too much about the little things that probably shouldn't matter. Like the opinions of people who aren't my friends; like the lack of friendliness and manners in shop assistants and the general public in London; like the way an English-speaking person might say an English sentence totally wrong, for example 'I could of went to the football match...'; like over-analysing something that I want to do, so that sometimes I persuade myself out of a dream. Sometimes these things drive me crazy and I dwell on an incident or a person. I almost make myself ill with this kind of thinking, especially when I wonder why people don't care about these things!

But I try to step back and reason with myself, because part of me sees that the things that bother me don't really matter. This weakness is a trait that is part of me. One that I am working on and trying to thin out a little, but one that I suspect will remain. My goal is to make it more of an endearing quality than an overbearing flaw.

And then I think 'thank goodness I can see this flaw in me'! I'm not oblivious to the crazy, nor to the occasional unreasonableness, so I can calm it down a bit. It lurches and leaps, but it also softens here and there.

But how many people are aware of their own weaknesses? Someone that I used to work with was generally a good person, but she could never admit when she was wrong, and a consequence of never admitting she was wrong was never apologising for her mistakes. People noticed this and it made her distinctly less appealing, even if the mistakes were tiny. Those that she may have affected with a tiny error here and there were more put out by her inability to just say 'I'm sorry' than by the mistake itself.

But that is just a little trait in an otherwise happy life and character. What about the ones that are character altering without the host even being aware of it? Someone I used to know, who I was fond of, managed to fool me as well as himself into thinking that he was an easy-going chap. But I've realised in retrospect that he had a few significant knots that needed loosening. 

I'm going to compare him now to a cliché of an American jock. Perhaps the captain of the football team in Ohio, the good looking, popular, successful young man who is going out with the prettiest girl, is part of the cool gang and cannot under any circumstances be seen to be doing anything off-beat, like talking to a nerd or going to the 'wrong' party. And he has to go to every mainstream party in case he misses out. This guy I knew was like that! He felt pressurised to conform and to make sure he had the right friends, that he was doing what appeared to be the right thing and doing what he thought made him happy, but not what he felt made him happy. He feared being an outsider, and was terrified of being alone. And who doesn't worry about being lonely from time to time? I suppose it's a little taboo to associate oneself with that word, but it's a feeling that can fester and is an effort to quash.

And on the outside it seems like he has removed traces of loneliness, but does he feel  happy? The point is that I see this as a weakness, and one that he won't admit to. But when/if he does, will he choose to change direction? I don't think so, which implies that he's doomed to a life of almost-happiness. And I don't think this is uncommon.

Some people are just naturally appealing. They just make other people feel good, they have a happy disposition, and they know when they like a person or not. (The extreme person of this nature is, I think, really rare but you can't miss them when they're around.) These are the strong people who can cut the people out of their lives that they don't like or who offer nothing but misery and nastiness, rather than hold on to another number in the crowd for the sake of appearances. These people are the complete opposite to those who just 'make do' with appearance, or who hold on to 'tactical' friends (the latter of whom are the worst simply because of the underlying deceit). 

This all seems to be about shallow aesthetics that do nothing to make you feel good. We can't all be like those gorgeous creatures that attract everyone for all the golden reasons, but surely there's room for a little more honesty? And certainly there is room for recognising the strong values before those harbouring the fear of loneliness hurt the ones who truly care.

My Little War

I am at war. Well it's more like a peaceful protest. The company in question does not know this. Most people who know me are aware, though some of the 'mosts' think that it is due to snobbery. And I can understand this view, because one the reasons for my beef is a little uppity, though not necessarily untrue. At least in my opinion.

The company? Tesco. The reason? Oh there are many.

The first reason that I will outline is the one that indicates snobbery. I think that the goods they offer are of poor quality relative to the prices that they charge. Compared to M&S and Waitrose where you can almost guarantee that you are paying for items that have been prepared with decent ingredients, Tesco's only guarantee is that you will spend more than you think you are for the most base items.

My main example comes from the time that I used to shop there. I would buy a ham and mustard sandwich for £1 for lunch. I was aware that the quality was poor - cheap white bread, meat that has about 5% meat in it - but I needed a quick, easy and cheap lunch. Over the Christmas period the price went up by 10 pence. I could deal with that, as yearly inflation is a given. However, the following month saw this price rise by another 10 pence. The item was still the same, but Tesco profits were increasing swiftly. (And, for the record, you can get a free range egg sandwich on seeded bread for £1 from M&S. As far as I can see, the better quality sandwiches in M&S cost little, if any, more.)

Whilst Tesco winningly display their eye catching orange and red signs that convince their customers that they are getting a great deal, they use an underhand method of marking higher prices on the products next door to the 'deal' in order to rake in the pounds. I imagine this is a common tactic, but Tesco's reputation is falsely built on providing inexpensive goods. The extra cash certainly doesn't go to the suppliers. According to the Guardian, pre tax profits to the end of February 2010 were at £3.4b, up 10.1% on the previous year.

Yes, they are a business and their main criteria is to make money. But it seems that they do this at the expense of UK and world citizens.

For example, the UK farmers' plight seems to be aggravated at the moment:

http://www.meattradenewsdaily.co.uk/news/061110/uk___farmers_protest_at_tesco_.aspx

An important point to mark from this article is this: “Latest statistics suggest English dairy farmers' numbers shrank by another 3.5 per cent in the year to September [2010], though the figure was 5.5 per cent in Wales, where a further 115 producers quit as a result of low prices.”

This has nothing to do with demand, as our population only increases. Suppliers cannot feasibly run their own businesses. Forget about profit, they cannot continue to survive. A friend of mine works on a stall selling cheese at the weekend. The reason for the very existence of this cheese is because the farmers could not sustain a living by selling milk, which had been their previous interest. Tesco is squeezing the supplier to bursting point.

I see this as unethical and totally irresponsible. And yes, other supermarkets are culpable in a similar way (though apparently not on such a big scale), and none of them should be excused, but Tesco is the most visible supermarket in the UK and I believe that it has a responsibility to ensure that their standards are respectable.

Standards? Pah. Another Guardian article published today (1st Feb) marks the company as it bows under new pressure from the public. Their credit card charges were noticeably out of line with industry standards, and their policy seemed to celebrate the theft of even more money from its customers. According to the Guardian's research, the company could be "raking in around £12m a year" (http://www.guardian.co.uk/money/2011/feb/01/tesco-reduces-credit-card-charges).  Perhaps the credit-card holders should have taken notice of the small print. Perhaps they shouldn't have been living on credit. If you can't afford it...

Anyhow, it was another money-spinning scheme with poor standards.

Other standards to take note of are their environmental ones, or lack thereof. As mentioned in my previous blog, Tesco offers a points scheme. If you use your own bags rather than Tesco plastic bags, you will get points. Great! Incentivising environmental awareness! Not a bad plan. Other ways of collecting points include buying fuel... You can then spend your points on air travel and motoring. The Tesco Clubcard is nothing but a PR gimick. The company recognises that there is a place for environmental issues in business and abuse the issues instead of embracing them.

The environmental issues? See the following points that The Ethical Consumer Research Association Ltd (ECRA) make on www.ethicalconsumer.org:

1. Climate change — the food industry is responsible for a third of greenhouse gas emissions
2. Energy efficiency — large stores and door-less chiller units are inefficient
3. Road freighting and food miles — fewer local farmers and shops mean food has to be transported further, plus sale of out-of- season produce means more air miles
4. Car use and traffic — 1 in 10 car journeys in the UK are to buy food. Work for DEFRA suggests that car use for food shopping results in costs to society of more than £3.5 billion per year from traffic emissions, noise, accidents and congestion.
5. Waste (packaging and food) — grocery packaging still makes up roughly a quarter of household waste.

When I used to work at Tesco, I would see food item after food item being thrown away. In most cases the food was perfectly edible. The excessive wrapping was also, naturally, thrown away with the food. 

According to the BBC, "Seventeen million tonnes of food is being ploughed into Britain's landfill sites every year - all because it's cheaper and easier for the food industry to dump it than give it to those in need. It's a massive waste when you consider that around four million tonnes of this food is perfectly alright to eat." (An article from 5 years ago. With hundreds more supermarket stores popping up all over the place, could this figure be any less in 2011?)  http://www.bbc.co.uk/insideout/yorkslincs/series7/supermarket_landfills.shtml

I spoke to a manager about this at the time and his attitude was lackadaisical. Why not give it to staff at the end of a shift if it is to be thrown away? They will be dismissed for theft. Handing it out to others who need it? It is too costly to do so.

Just as it is too costly to pro-actively set about some much needed ethical standards. The above manager worked 6 day weeks, 9 hour days and got paid £15,000 a year. So perhaps the salaries of the mostly hard-working staff could be addressed for one thing.

For another, providing ethically sourced food to consumers. Animal welfare in particular should be top of the list, and I don't think the choice should be given to the shopper whether or not to buy free range eggs, free range chicken and so on. I eat meat, and I like to know that the animal that I am eating is healthy, that it is not pumped full of water to make it appear bigger and tastier, that it did not develop painful ulcers due to shocking living conditions, or have cuts and sores as a result being attacked by other animals in too-tight living quarters.

Co-op and Waitrose have fantastic records for providing ethical products; Co-op was the pioneer in ethical trading standards, and Waitrose is now the leading supplier of Fairtrade products, including those that are hard to find, such as jams and biscuits. M&S is also committed to improving its ethical strategy and fairtrade commitments. It has launched an organic cotton range, which means that the working conditions for the cotton pickers are vastly improved.

Co-op is also markedly committed to reducing its impact on the environment, as it sources "98% renewable electricity in its 5,500 sites across the UK" (http://www.greenwisebusiness.co.uk/news/coop-and-marks-and-spencer-named-uks-greenest-supermarkets-2013.aspx). If you haven't the time to read this short article on 'greenest supermarkets', I'll highlight another point from it: "Tesco, Asda and Netta were identified as the three worst performing companies [of the 19 leading supermarkets that were assessed]".

Co-op is the fifth largest food provider in the UK and shows that profits can be made ethically and responsibly. Tesco has no excuse and frankly I am disgusted by the business. I have been in the store three times in the last two years and will never do so again. I try to be as balanced about this as possible, and understand that others are less than saintly. But their visibility makes their culpability more disgraceful, and their outrageous profit margins pure capitalist greed. Am I naive? Perhaps. Nevertheless I expect more.

Ice Ice Baby

I've just come across a new initiative that introduces more incentive for us in the UK to reduce our carbon footprints, which seems like a great a idea.


http://www.myice.com/


It's a points reward scheme, gifting shoppers with a certain number of points for their purchases. But the purchaser must part with their money for items that are sustainable. Some of the arguments against this are by those who believe we need to cut down our rate of consumption, not reward it. I would agree with this on principle, but we're creatures of habit in a consumerist world, easily manipulated by excessive advertising and clever marketing, and we will continue to buy things.


So why not choose to buy the things that have less of a detrimental impact on our environment? The Ice initiative offers consumers a range of shopping options that deliver a more sustainable product. The partners involved in the scheme are in categories that make the shopping experience transparent, and the website is full of information about why choosing certain products, such as solar panels for the home and organic and eco-friendly baby clothing and toys, are a good idea.


Buying as a member of Ice rewards you with points - 15 points for every £2 spent - which can be spent at any time on other sustainable and energy saving products and services. According to the website, "Ice brings you a wide range of retail partners offering environmentally friendly products from everyday essentials to enticing gifts and treats. Choose from businesses large, small and local; we are constantly adding new partners to Ice".


The latter point about where you can spend your points is crucial in differentiating this rewards scheme with others, such as Tesco's, which allows you to spend the points that you collect (by using your own shopping bags instead of the plastic ones) on air travel. Dolts.


When I worked at Tesco a few years ago, if I forgot to add points to a person's receipt, I would nearly die from the daggers shot at me by customers who collect points to spend on said air travel or other heavily wrapped goods from the store. Clearly, their motivation was selfish. But then, so is the Ice initiative. To a point. 'What can I get for spending my money on more environmentally sound products?'


After purchasing any of these available products, awareness will be raised a little more. Yes, we are still buying too much, but we will be more aware of what is available to us to limit - or at least lessen - our harmful impact.


Incentivising consumers to be more aware and responsible is, I think, a great step towards protecting our world.